i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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