Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
