my soul wont recognize me after tonight
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
