This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
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She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
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Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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