mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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