I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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