At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
