OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
