oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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