worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
