Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
