I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
