Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
