I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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