Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
