how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
