well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
