Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
