so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
