Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
