I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
