he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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