he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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