I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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