She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
