just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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