you have to choose: penises or morals?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize