if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
