She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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