Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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