Joe is yelling at the trees again.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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