if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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