i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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