Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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