Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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