You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Your cock deserves a montage
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
