pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
