You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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