There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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