She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
