i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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