just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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