So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry about my life...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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