I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
