I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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