i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize