for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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