I want to stick my p in your. b.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize