did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
