Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Boobs speak an international language.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
