Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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