he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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