sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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