It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i think my mom watched the whole time
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Donβt worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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