Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
