youre lurking in front of me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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