Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
