I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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