She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
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I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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