So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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