The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
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I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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