I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
